


Drabbles of a Stoward Relationship

by roshytsunami



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-18 23:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3587607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roshytsunami/pseuds/roshytsunami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically what the title says. Each chapter will be one drabble on the Steve/Howard relationship it can be either romantic, friendship, brother or any other relationship. A small summary of what that drabble will be about will be at the beginning notes enjoy :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Striper Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Steve is a poor artist that needs to work as a stripper to make money. Can he keep the secret from his best friend Howard?

Steve winces as he gets into his uniform and looks in the mirror grimacing before taking a deep breath and smiling as he makes his way to the dance stage. He is ok. He has food and a roof over his head for the month at least. He grips the bar and swings his leg around it biting his lip seductively and winking at the boys throwing money at his six inch heels. He has paid his bills on time and his new art piece was just bought. He begins to bend down slowly before letting his fake chest slide up and down on the pole forcing a smile at the patrons of the bar. He hated dressing like this, he felt so unbalanced and the Texas blonde hairdo was the worst wig he had ever worn.

He bends back hoping his wig won't fall off as he gives the crowd a fake smile trying to think of anything else. This job is just needed to create a cushion for those what if moment. What if his asthma attacks makes him cough up a lung? He smiles at the crowd as he tucks his leg on the bar preparing to swing. What if his anemia makes him pass out again for his final test in human studies? He raises his arms above his head waist straight and out as he lets his legs do the spinning for him before gaining his balance on the floor again heels clicking on the money filled floor. What if he has another hospital bill to pay? He begins to walk around the pole before getting on his knees and crawling towards the money as he puts it in his thong before strutting over to one of the men and sitting on his lap. What if Howard…wait Howard. His body freezes as he looks at the man he was just getting ready to do a lap dance on. He doesn’t say anything and just stares at him. “Howard?”

“Oh fuck Steve?”


	2. Misery Loves Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve feels the loss of Bucky can Howard get his mind off of it?

Howard spots Steve drinking away at the bar and walks up to him taking his shot glass and downing it before he can do anything. "You can't get a buzz and I need it," he says placing the glass back on the counter. Steve doesn't say anything too tired and lost in his thoughts of Bucky. It was his fault he fell. All his fault. Bucky and him were supposed to come back from the war pick up a good dame and have their kids play with each other. He wasn't supposed to be dead.

Howard pokes him in the gut, “look kid,” he hears Steve mumble he’s not a kid and Steve’s right. No one is a kid in this war. “Fine whatever spangles. You can’t mope over your friend’s death. He did what he thought was right and knew about the consequences. You need to stop beating yourself up.”

“I killed him…”

“Oh yeah how did you do that push him off the train? Did you give him a big fuck you Bucky I’m not saving you,” he asks glaring at Steve as Steve hunches down like he use to do when he was smaller. When he does it now he just looks like an overgrown retriever getting scolded.

“He did what he wanted Rogers. He died for what he wanted don’t go soiling his honor but getting pissed at him for dying twerp,” he says patting him on the back.

Howard sighs, “come on Steve let’s find you a nice dame so you can fuck the misery away.”

Steve looks up at him flushing and angry, “you don’t treat a woman like that Howard,” he says about ready to go into a rant.

“Ok what about a man then? A man can handle the abuse right Rogers,” he grins.

“What are you even suggesting,” he asks looking around the bar making sure no one is around. They could be hanged or worse just for talking about the queer.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about sweetheart,” he smirks, “hot angry sex sounds awesome tonight.”

Howard takes in Steve’s nervousness and curses, “shit you’re a virgin…”

“No…I’m not a virgin. I don’t think so,” Steve says as Howard rolls his eyes, “Bucky and I,” he says swallowing difficultly, “we use to let off steam, help each other out with you know,” he says embarrassed.

“You guys wanked each other,” he says nodding his head, “mutual wanking so kind of still a virgin. Ever been kissed by a guy?”

Steve blushes, “n-no. Bucky and I just did the wanking that’s it. I wasn’t exactly fit enough to do much else with my old body. I got winded easily and my heart wasn't that strong.”

Howard grins, “well now you are,” he says kissing Steve on the lips as Steve flails his arms before resting them on Howard’s shoulders breathing as if he has asthma again face flushed.

Howard smirks, “come on solider let’s run some test on your super stamina,” he says standing up as Steve nods his head face flushing bright red.


	3. Not a Housewife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard is not a housewife.

Howard was not a housewife. He was not a silly ninny who was waiting for her husband. He was a concerned man worried about his idiot partner? Boyfriend? He was worried about Steve fucking Rogers. The nicest most apple guy around with just a pinch of I will wreck your shit up when you disrespect my values of honor and justice. So when Rogers came to him after the battle he had this speech ready, he really did but that went out the window when Steve smiled at him rubbing the back of his head like an awkward puppy. Howard raises an eyebrow at him before stomping over to the six foot two man and pulls him down to his level giving him a kiss on the lips for all to see, “idiot.”


	4. The End of Captain America

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve worries Howard when he flies that infamous plane. Will he make it back to his Howard?

Howard was not a patient man. If he wanted something he got it straight away. Money could buy him almost everything. The keyword being almost. It could not buy his Steve Rogers the man _without_ a plan, don’t believe those hyped up posters. Rogers made up the plan as he went along. So here he was tinkering on one of his weapons since he needed something to do with his hands while he waited for his idiot Rogers when he gets a static message from his communicator.

“Howard I’m sorry,” says Steve sounding so far away. Howard drops his work and picks up the communicator.

“What the fuck do you mean sorry Rogers,” he asks worried.

“I don’t think I’m going to make it home.”

Howard’s heart stops, “don’t you say that. Don’t you fucking say that to me.”

“I have to sink the plane it’s the only way.”

“Bullshit it’s the only way, put the damn thing on auto or rig it,” he shouts at the communicator.

“What Howard I just wanted to say-“, the communicator goes off as only static noise comes through.

Howard drops the communicator and grips the seat of his desk angry, “that idiot,” he says trying to stop the clawing pain get to him. He knew Steve was stubborn. He knew he would always do the right thing even if it was difficult. He knew this was Steve and what he wanted to do but Howard was selfish. He wanted Steve to be his and only his. He shouldn’t have been Captain America; America sure as hell didn’t deserve him. Steve was his.

It’s weeks before he comes out of his workshop too busy on rewiring and fixing weapons to end the god damn war. He used his work as a focus to not think of Steve. So when he makes way to get his paper for the morning to hear what other bullshit the news has been spreading about war bond propaganda and the loss of an American icon. He’s surprised to see Steve standing there army uniform ripped and shivering.

Howard is at a loss for words.

“Speechless Howard that’s a first,” he says chuckling.

“You’re dead,” he says pointing a finger at him.

“Captain America is dead. Steve Rogers is still alive,” he grins, “I took your advice and rigged the plane. It worked and now I’m a free man again. I love my country but I saw too many good men die on both sides. Kids fighting a damn war they didn’t want or make…” he says before being attacked by Howard as he hugs him tightly.

“You’re a menace Rogers,” he says punching him in the gut as Rogers takes the blow easily, “that’s for not coming back here sooner,” he says before leaning up to kiss him on the lips. Steve is surprised by the kiss but kisses him back and picks him up bridal style.

Howard glares at him, “what do you think you are doing Rogers,” he hated being man handled.

“I’ve just come home to make love to my wife. That alright with you Howard,” he says grinning.

Howard answers him with a kiss and wraps his arms around his neck as Steve carries him back inside closing the front door with his foot.


	5. The Infamous Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve promised to come back to him. He lied.

Howard had his arm draped over Steve in the small cot they were sharing. Well more like Howard was laying on top of Steve’s body since Steve took the whole cot bed. Howard was laying on Steve like a cat and was waking up as he slapped Steve’s face softly, “Steve. Hey Steve time to get up now,” he says giving him a surprise kiss as Steve opens his eyes.

Steve sighs and kisses him back, “you’re a pain in the ass.”

“No I think that’s reversed based on last night you were a pain in my ass,” he grins. Steve flushes but not as badly as he did in the beginning when they were first starting whatever this relationship was right now. It felt so domestic even if they were miles away from home and about to storm a HYDRA base today.

They go through their daily routine as they wake up kiss, make breakfast, have a quickie and get ready to face the world. Howard hates this part saying goodbye to Steve. He’s going to worry until he comes home because he has to come home to him. He just has to.

Steve sees him frowning and gives him a goodbye kiss, “I’ll always come back to you Howard. I promise,” he says as he runs off to lead the commandos. Howard waves to him and sighs. Yeah Steve always comes back. He’s not going to break his promise.

He was wrong. Steve broke his promise to Howard who was currently searching the arctic for Steve. “Come on Steve you said you would come back. Please come back to me,” he says as he searches the deep sea.


	6. Princess Howard and His Knight Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Howard does not want to be married so he sends all his suitors on an impossible task that no one has been able to complete.

Princess Howard sighed as he watched his father bring in the knights that would be fighting for his maidenhood. Good luck with that. That was taken long ago hopefully the knight who won his hand wouldn’t be too angry he wasn’t a nervous virgin.

Six knights and a maid no wait it was seven knights. The one on the end was just really tiny. What did that short knight expect to prove? Well it was his funeral…his body could fit in a child’s coffin that’s just sad.

He sits there listening to the knights go on and on about the land they owe and what they will do to win his hand. Howard gives them each his customary smile full of charm and gives them a task they can not hope to complete. If his father was going to give him off to the highest bidder he mind as well make sure they have the worse odds possible.

For all the knights he gives them the tasks of bringing back the tooth of a dragon. The last knight who took that task died instantly. Jarvis was a very nice dragon but he was no push over. Jarvis and Howard had a deal between them. Howard would send him fresh meat from the castle courts and a few of his riches while Jarvis just burnt the knights coming after him to a crisp. It was a great deal, he got to remain single and fool around with any man or woman without having to commit to marriage or god forbid have an heir.

Once the king has sent off the knights the smaller one comes up to Howard and kneels on one leg, “your highness may I ask for a lock of your hair for good luck?”

His voice was soft and smooth like he had just gone through puberty. Surely a boy would not be risking his life for his hand. Interesting. Perhaps this batch of knight would be interesting after all or at least the smaller one.

Howard sees nothing wrong with giving the knight a lock of his hair. It might be the closest the knight will ever have to touch him. Howard grins as he cuts a lock of his hair and hands it to the knight who bows and heads to the task at hand.

Not even a week later six of the seven knights are dead all having been burnt to ash. Princess Howard was working on one of his devices when he sees one of his instruments begin to glow. It meant that something had happened to Jarvis. Not wasting anytime Howard quickly gathers his healing supplies and steals a horse from the stables heading off to the cave where Jarvis lived.

“Jarvis,” calls Howard as he enters the cave, “are you ok?”

The knight grabs Howard and pulls him back so he can see Jarvis laying asleep on his gold, “what are you doing do you want to wake it?”

Howard looks at the knight, it was the tiny knight from before, “you’re supposed to be dead,” he says looking at the short knight.

“The only reason I’m not is because the dragon thought I smelled like you. You’re hair came in handy,” he smirks under his helmet.

“How…how did you know that would work,” Howard asks surprised, “did you figure that out on your own?”

“You always send the knights to the same dragon and you disappear around that time too. So you must have a spell on the dragon or you made the dragon yourself,” Steve whispers to him as Jarvis’s moves.

Howard nods his head, “you’re actually smart interesting.”

Steve nods his head before grabbing Howard’s hand. “we need to leave now. You don’t need to get hurt,” he says as Howard rips his hand out of Steve’s grip and calls to Jarvis.

“Hey Jarvis rise and shine,” he says as Steve clanks over towards him and gets in front of him as the dragon wakes up.

“You’re an idiot,” Steve yells at him as he places the shield in front of them both. Jarvis yawns and looks at both of them confused, “Howard I missed a knight move from your spot,” he says preparing to burn Steve.

“No need Jarvis this is the one,” he smiles as he looks at the knight turn to him before looking at the dragon again shield raised higher. If Howard could see the knight’s face it would look like one of confusion and curious of how a princess was friends with a dragon

“Are you sure sir,” Jarvis asks moving forward claws nearly nicking the small knight. The knight stands it’s ground shield still up to protect Howard.

“Yes I want this one. He’s smarter than the others and is defending me even when I said you were a friend,” he says looking at both of them and patting the knight on the shoulder, “he has to be a she with how short…”

“I’m not a woman,” Steve screeches as he takes off his helmet quickly his face dirty and red from being covered in armor and debris for days, “I’m a man,” he says going into a rant.

Howard catches a few words but mostly he is looking at Steve with hunger in his eyes. He stares at this little ball of energy waving his arms as high as he can in his suit of armor yelling at him for being so reckless to befriend a dragon. His tiny long hands, his blonde hair…well what he assumes is blonde hair since he is dirty and those eyes. Those angry beautiful blue eyes glaring at him as his pink mouth moves speaking words he doesn’t understand right now. He’s too enraptured with the prize he has won, oh yes he has chosen well.

“Are you even listening to-“

“Marry me,” he asks Steve suddenly cutting him off in the middle of his sentence.

“Are…are you serious,” Steve asks shocked.

“Yes that is why you participated in this task is it not.”

“Well yes but..”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I thought I was going to court you first,” he says flushing, “don’t princesses like to be courted?”

“Pssh not me. Let’s just get down to it already. Jarvis I’m taking my bride elsewhere thanks for not burning him to a crisp,” he says waving to Jarvis who just huff out some fire shaking his head at Howard.

“Be careful sir and if this knight ever thinks of betraying you I will make sure to chew on his bones thoroughly,” Jarvis says giving Steve a predatory grin.

Howard waves Jarvis off, “come on Jarvis not even five minutes and already acting like the protective sibling. I can handle this shorty…”

“I’m not that short,” says Steve annoyed.

Howard just beams at Steve, “aw Jarvis he even does a cute little pout.”

Jarvis sighs, “clearly you are smitten sir good luck with your knight.”

“Yeah see you later Jarvis. Next time I’ll be a married man better not scare my bride,” he laughs leading Steve outside.

Once outside Steve squints at the bright light and covers his face. He looks over at Howard who is preparing his horse. Howard turns around and scrutinizes him looking him up and down.

“Ok strip.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Get out of your armor you don’t need it anymore. I can build you better armor that would be lighter for your frame,” he says watching Steve get his armor off. Steve sighs as he takes off his armor plates, chain mail, gauntlets, and others metal plates looking at Howard in his skinny frame.

“You’re disappointed,” he says crossing his arms over his chest chin held high.

“No you’re perfect,” he says grinning giving Steve a kiss on the cheek, “my hero. Come on let’s go back to the castle,” he says walking in front of Steve who is just holding his hand to his cheek.

Steve never knew the princess would be this bold. He also didn’t think he had a chance of winning his hand but he did. Howard reaches a hand down for Steve as he pulls him up on his horse grinning as they begin to trot back to the castle. Steve makes sure to not touch Howard as much as he can being seated on the horse. He hopes he can be enough for Howard.

“So brave knight what is your name,” Howard asks turning his head so Steve can hear him.

“Steven Grant Rogers from…”

“No what do you go by?”

“Just Steve,” he says as the horse is steered down the dirt path, “your majesty,” he says as an afterthought. Oh no what if Howard intends to have his head. He had yelled at the princess surely he is going to die now.

Howard frowns looking down at Steve, “Steve something has upset you. What is it?”

“I spoke to you harshly earlier your majesty. I am prepared to lose my head for…”

“No Steve you are going to be my husband. I will not be a widow before I have even been married a day. Now stop using your majesty and call me Howard.”

Steve looks at Howard and nods his head, “yes your- I mean Howard,” he says watching Howard smirk at him. Perhaps he had underestimated the princess. He was going to find out one way or another since he was his husband to be.

 


	7. The Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve just wants to get enough money to get his own motorcycle; unfortunately for him the only way to get that money fast is by being the caretaker of Mr. Stark's Mansion.

Steve wipes the sweat from his brow focused on cutting the grass by the pool. What he wouldn’t give to go for a dip in the pool but he can’t He has to work and do the gardening chores for the Stark Mansion. Man if he could have money coming out of his ass like the people here he wouldn’t have to be working out in the heat getting blisters and sunburnt. He hears the glass door to the house open and grimaces seeing Stark Junior come out in nothing but his bathing suit and a towel around his neck finished with sunglasses. He looks over at Steve and smiles waving at him. Steve gulps and waves back as he begins to push the mower faster around the lawn.

Twenty minutes later he’s just putting the mower back in the shed when he sees Howard walking toward him wet and sunglasses on. Steve gulps, “can I help you?”

“You sure can fun size. I need some help by the pool.”

Steve frowns at being called fun size but takes a deep breath and sighs, “what can I do for you Mr. Stark.”

“Pssh don’t call me that you can just call me Howard. Anyway I need some help at the pool it’s really urgent.”

Steve sighs and locks the shed up, “sure what seems to be the problem,” he asks walking with him back to the pool.

“It seems to be clogged and I can’t get whatever is stuck inside out,” Howard says as he shows him to where the chlorine tablets are placed. Steve’s kneels down and takes the lid off confused, “nothing is-“ he doesn’t get to finish as he is pushed into the pool.

He sputters as he pops his head out of the water and heads for the steps of the pool glaring at Howard.

“Hey Steve what is that,” he asks laughing, “looks like you want to say something,” he smirks.

Steve turns his back on him and walks away from the pool taking his shirt off and wringing it out. He’s doing this for the motorcycle. He’s doing this for the motorcycle. He says as a mantra as a shadow looms over him.

“What do you want now,” he asks putting his soggy shirt back on.

“I want to say you look hot so that’s why I pushed you in,” he says not really good with apologies.

Steve looks at him and glares at him, “whatever. I’m done for the day,” he says walking away from Howard not trusting himself to not hit the guy right then.

“I saw you looking at me Rogers,” Howard says as Steve freezes in his walk and turns around, “yeah I saw you looking. Kind of easy to spot your gaze,” he grins, “I mean when you’re as rich and successful as me you notice whose lusting after you and who is just faking it to get your money.”

“The sun has baked your brain Howard,” he says trying to play it off and failing.

Howard just smirks, “hmph whatever you say Rogers. You should know though that I can have anyone I want. Wouldn’t mind adding you to the list,” he smirks.

“You’re list of conquests no thanks,” he says angry.

“Oh so you do like me then,” he laughs having tricked Steve, “later Steve see you next week mowing my dad’s lawn.”

Steve just clenches his hands and stomps off heading for his bike in the front on the house. “That asshole,” he says getting on his bike and pedaling. He takes a deep breath repeating his mantra again in his head. He can do this summer job. He can get enough money for the bike. He can ignore Howard Stark. He can ignore his beautiful smile and strong shoulders and fuck. He can ignore Howard Stark. He can ignore Howard Stark. This becomes his new mantra as he heads home.


	8. Howard Stark Has An Illegitimate Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard was expecting the morning paper not a baby on his door step when he first got up.

Howard hated getting up in the mornings. He needed a good brew of his coffee before facing the day and was too lazy to start the coffee himself, however; this was not the reason he had woken up early this morning. This morning he had heard crying for the past three hours. He couldn’t stand it anymore and was going to give the mother and her wailing baby a piece of his mind. He rips open the front door of his apartment and curses.

“Who the fuck leaves babies at your doorstep anymore,” he says looking at the red faced screaming baby. He takes the note from the inside the basket and reads it raising an eyebrow, “Caroline…I didn’t sleep with Caroline,” he pauses mid-sentence and slams his hand against his forehead, “fuck yes I did sweet Caroline from State shit,” he says to himself kicking the frame of his door as the baby wails louder.

Howard looks down at the baby and picks it up. He checks the diaper and nods, “ha it’s a boy. I’m not going to name you until I get some blood test done. Wouldn’t be the first time someone’s pulled this shit on me,” he says bringing the baby in as he calls his lawyers leaving a message since they are not up at butt fuck o’clock in the morning.

He’s pacing around the baby as it won’t stop screaming. He just wants to get some sleep and he doesn’t know how to take care of kids. He stops pacing and picks up his phone again.

Steve was doing the ink for his new art project. It was about the only time he had to work on his original work instead of taking photographs and resizing them for magazine companies. His phone goes off just as he was about to ink the character’s hair and he sighs. He put the ink pen back and pushes away from the artist desk as he answers his phone.

“Hey Steve you up,” asks Howard pacing as he baby cries.

“Of course I’m up Howard this is my time to get my stuff done…wow whose kid is that.”

“Uh kinda of complicated,” he says pausing on the phone before sighing, “you remember Caroline?”

“Howard I don’t remember all your conquests…”

“Sweet Caroline,” he says groaning.

“I thought that was a song,” Steve teases him as Howard groans, “fine yeah I remember her why?”

“She had my kid supposedly so that crying is my kid…I think I might be a dad but fuck that. I’m not going to even use that word until I know the kid is mine blood tests and shit…” he says trailing off as he paces and the baby cries more.

Steve almost drops the phone before handling it careful, “well that’s…uh so why’d you call me?”

“It won’t stop crying and I know duct tape is the cure for everything but with babies I don’t think that’s a good idea Steve.”

“Ok fine just give me half an hour. Look for some milk or some soft foods like applesauce.”

“Why?”

“Cause it might be hungry Howard,” Steve deadpans.

“He…it’s a boy Steve.”

“Well congratulations Howard,” he says hanging up the phone. He rubs his head as a headache begins forming. He quickly puts his art equipment away before grabbing his inhaler, his wallet and keys before locking up his apartment and heading over to Howard’s place.

He knocks on the door thirty minutes later freezing since he forgot to get changed into warmer clothes. He wasn’t thinking he was more worried about Howard duct taping a baby. The door finally opens up and the noise keeps getting louder.

Howard leans on Steve’s shoulder who is at least a foot shorter than him so it’s an awkward position, “he won’t stop crying Steve.”

Steve pats him on the back and pushes him back, “yeah well that’s why you called,” he said pushing past Howard and towards the baby as he begins to coo at it, “what’s his name?”

“He didn’t have one and I’m not naming it. You name something you get attached and then it’s all downhill from there,” he says shutting the door as Steve takes the baby in his arms and begins to rock him, “what is your daddy being a jerk.”

Howard points at Steve annoyed, “don’t you start Rogers.”

“Oh yeah see that’s the face of a nervous daddy,” he teases as the baby giggles, “see he agrees with me Howard.”

“Fine then you keep him,” he says pouting.

“He’s not my son…he’s not your offspring yet,” he says as Howard tsshes at him.

“Howard can you at least pretend until this gets settled that he’s your kid and take care of him,” he asks rocking the baby.

“Not if I’m practicing being a politician and if it’s not there it doesn’t exist,” he chuckles rubbing the back of his neck, “fuck man Caroline. Why do you think she never said anything?”

“Cause you’re a man whore,” he says rocking the baby in his arms as he looks at the counter, “where’s apple sauce or milk or anything soft?”

“Only thing I have is hot sauce mayo and beer. I don’t think a baby should have his first beer so young,” he says poking the baby on the nose as it sneezes at him. He pulls back suddenly afraid of the germs, “it sneezed on me Steve.”

“Howard you need to go out and get some baby food now.”

“Why me?”

“Because I’m the one holding the baby and keeping it calm now go,” he says glaring up at Howard.

“Fine,” he groans leaving to get supplies while Steve plays mother. It doesn’t take long for him to get the supplies.

There was a convenience store not too far from his place so when he walks back in he expects the baby to still be crying for food because Steve said to get food so that must be why the baby was crying right? What he doesn't expect is for both of them to be asleep on the couch. Steve is lying down on his back baby sleeping on his chest as they both sleep peacefully. Howard drops the food on the counter and sits on the couch and puts Steve’s socked feet on his lap so he can be stretched out. He looks at the baby that is drooling on Steve and sighs.

“This feel way too domestic,” he tells the sleeping baby before grinning, “you look like an Anthony, I’ll call you Tony for short,” he says getting comfortable on the couch as he passes out from exhaustion.


	9. Happiness is Slanted

Howard was shaking hands clenched on the sink as he looked in the mirror. His face was slouching and pulled back only by his anger. His hair was graying around the edges by his ears. He looks at himself in the mirror disgusted seeing the crows feet marking his eyes. He chortles and takes a swig of his whiskey on the counter before running his hands through his hair trying to calm himself.

His son Anthony no, Tony it was Tony now had been since he could talk in partial sentences which was about the same time he could walk the smart little asshole. Howard washes his hands and rinses his face under the sink before patting his face with the towel annoyed.

"Howard," says a worried voice, "Howard you have been in there for some time..."

"Go away Steve," he clips trying to keep the anger and fear from his voice.

Steve pauses before knocking on the door again, "Maria wants to see you. She wants to talk to you about Tony," he says through the door shifting to his left foot agitated, "she wants to send him to a doctor to fix him."

Howard stomps over to the bathroom door and swings it open, "she's not sending him anywhere. He's my son...my son and I cursed him," he says rubbing his face with his hand before shaking his hand. "I cursed him Steve."

Steve frowns, "Howard," he says grabbing his hand. Howard pulls away from Steve angry.

"No. You can't say I didn't.. fuck look what we are," he says raising his voice, "she's doing this to get back at me isn't she. She wants to change him. She thinks she's going to save him from being like this," he gestures to himself.

Steve stands there letting Howard vent. He tries to get a word in but he knows right now Hoard just needs to talk and let it all out. It rare that he actually talks or expresses his feelings. Steve just listens as Howard continues.

"You can't fix gay Steve. You can't dad tried and fuck did it stick for a few years. Those girls all those girls it was empty. I was just keeping the suspicions off my back. You remember the Russian Weapons Trial don't you? 1954 those asses tried to say I was a gay spy and that's why I sold my weapons to the enemy. Complete bullshit except for the gay bit but...but I was so scared. I just had to prove I was straight. I just had to pretend for a little while and a little while longer. I married Maria and thought that sealed the deal. Thought it cured me and then we found you and I knew it was going to go up in smoke but Maria was already pregnant with Tony and fuck everything just fell apart," his body shakes as he tries to hold himself together.

Steve walks over towards his slowly before wrapping his large arms around Howard. Howard tries to get out of the hug and twitches in Steve's massive arms. Steve just holds onto Howard tighter and sways with him rocking Howard to calm him down.

"Howard you know I love you and if...if I could make an honest man out of you I would," he says as Howard laughs. Steve raises an eyebrow at the laugh.

"Honest man out of me? Steve whose the one in bed who," he begins before Steve covers his mouth smiling.

"Alright make an honest man out of me fine. Howard," he says softly releasing his hand over Howard's mouth, "I love you. I know we can't express our love because of certain issues but Tony is young and you've seen the news. That new disease is out there and it's killing us and no one cares. Tony is brave and reckless like you are," he smiles as Howard huffs at him.

"Tony is brave and stubborn enough to not let some fear hold him back..."

Howard shakes his head, "they still won't treat him with respect. If he comes out with his boyfriend they'll eat him alive. He won't be able to hold a job. They'll fear he has that disease," he says scared, "I don't want Tony to end up like us Steve. I don't want him hiding his partner or not being able to love him as freely because the man he love is not a woman. I wish he could date whoever he wanted but he can't. It only ends in tragedy, there's no happy endings for us."

Steve frowns releasing Howard, "this, what we have now is not good enough for you?"

"I didn't say that."

"No you implied it," Steve clips, "I only hide our relationship because you ask me to and because I do not want to shame Maria but if you are going to say this relationship is not a good enough or a happy enough ending then I don't know what to say Howard."

Howard huffs turning away gathering himself so he won't cry. Stark men do not cry, good old dad. He turns back around, "I'm happy Steve. I'm happy with you I want to show everyone how happy I am. Do you know how much it pains me to not be able to show you off or claim you when we are in public? I want to push you against the wall and make out with you like a horny teenager but I can't. You know why we can't be public even though I want to. Heh I don't even know why you are attracted to me. I'm old Steve."

"You're not that old," he smiles.

"I'm sixty three years old and you're still the same as ever," he says jealous. "I'm going to die before you."

"Don't say that..."

"It's true. I'm going to die before you and it's not fair. I don't want to die so soon. Why didn't you listen to me and not plunge yourself into a damn iceberg," he shouts angry. "You're an asshole for being the hero."

Steve watches Howard vent before he pulls him into a kiss, "nothing is going to keep me from loving you Howard. You're wife didn't, none of your CEOs did, and not even your age is going to keep me from you. You're stuck with me..."

"Until I die," he says bitterly.

"I'm going to die too Howard and when I do I'm going to find you and we're going to be together the rest of our dead life."

Howard quirks a smile, "well both be in hell or I will since I'm not a goody two shoes like you."

"Don't care I'll find you and stay with you," he smiles kissing Howard on the lips. Howard deepens the kiss his hands roaming Steve's backside until they land on his butt. He pulls back smiling.

"This is a good ending Steve not perfect but it's great when you're in it," he says before pulling the captain into another kiss.


End file.
